Jealousy

Mood: slightly tired
Listening to: the hum of the fan
Last ate: two oranges

It's nice to be reading on a more regular basis again. I just finished This Side of Paradise by F. Scott Fitzgerald. All in all, a disappointing book. Great narrative and dialogue, but not much else.

Now, I've decided to switch to nonfiction with The Dangerous Passion by David M. Buss. It's about how jealousy actually plays a positive role in survival/evolution of the human race.

I purchased The Dangerous Passion after becoming concerned about my feelings of jealousy that I was feeling with regards to Bella, well before we started dating. I felt I needed to find out what is behind jealousy, the reason for jealousy, so I can better understand it, if not control it. I'm a chapter-and-a-half into the book, and Buss has made the argument that a healthy level of jealousy is beneficial--no, necessary for a long-term relationship. That's good news... I guess. (I say "I guess" because I know how full-on jealousy can make a person feel; it's not a good feeling.)

Most recently, I've felt jealous twinges towards one of Bella's student teaching cohorts. Though I would describe him as her "type", it's not so much about him in particular. It's more about someone--anyone--being able to spend time with her when I can't. For example, I felt a tiny bit jealous when her brother was visiting from New York and I couldn't always be there. (Actually, I knew it was important for them to spend time together without me, so I suggested I not tag along sometimes.)

Bella and I have discussed my feelings. I think we both understand that a healthy amount of jealousy is harmless.

In fact, as David M. Buss points out, jealousy shows that there is commitment in a relationship. It's a means of protecting what you have.

I am certainly committed to Bella. What Bella and I have is something very special, very rare. What we have is worth protecting.