It's silly, I know. How can I miss Bella when I've only just seen her yesterday? Well, yesterday is not today. I need her today. I need her arms wrapped around me, holding me up. I need her hand to fill the space in mine, the void only she can fill. I need her eyes reassuring me that everything is going to be okay. I need her cheek pressed lightly against my lips. I need my name on her breath. I need the gleam of our future on her finger. I need to know she still loves me.
But, of course, that's silly too. I know she loves me. There is no doubt in my mind. But somehow that's not enough. In her absence, do I really forget that I am loved? How could I? And yet, it's no surprise. I was alone for so long. Every time we're apart, it's a reminder of what I was before her. And I don't like who I was before her. I was a mere shadow dissolving in the coming darkness. With her, I am the light making the shadow.
Does this make sense? Does anything at all ever make sense? Or are we just pretending to understand, nodding our heads in the ritual of false enlightenment?
I don't know.
2 comments:
How do you do a rolleyes on here? LOL!
welcome back mr. sweetums! oh no, can i use your alias here?! i never gave up on your story of an egg. i may not venture on the computer that frequently, but when i do i always click on my bookmark 4 your blog. happy 1yr anniversary of your engagement, may 23rd!! i wish my future best friend-in-law lots of luck in finding a better job. meow.
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