Mood: Eager to See Bella
Weight: ???
Last ate: Club Crackers, Cherry Jam, Two Fig Newtons
Bella and I both slipped on our diets last night. We blame it on McDonald's. I didn't bother weighing myself this morning. Worked out a little bit today to make up for the Big Mac and Chicken Nugs. That's in addition to the walking I will be doing. I'm sure the result won't be too bad when I step on the scale tomorrow morning. But I need to be more considerate of Bella and help her stick to her diet. (Even though I think she's perfect the way she is.) We'll just have to be careful when we go to McDonald's from now on.
Haven't seen Stella since last night. I'm a bit worried.
Saturday, October 18, 2003
Thursday, October 16, 2003
Catholicism
Mood: Philosopher
Weight: ???
Last ate: TWO Servings of Malt-O-Meal
So I joined a Catholic Yahoo Group to find answers to some of my questions about the religion. Here is a fragment of someone's post plus my reply:
> Back to your question though, I do have a couple I would like to ask
> you. First, if you do not believe there is one true church around,
> would you ever consider joining all the churches at once? If not,
> what would be the determining factor for you in choosing any one
> church out of a pool of several, if truth does not play a role in the
> decision?
Thank you for your reply. Though I believe there is one Truth, there is no way any of us can know what that is. So while I think it is appropriate to take a particular belief system as one's Truth, I think it is disrespectful and illogical to assume everyone else is wrong.
Right about now, you're probably asking yourself what logic has to do with religion. I think it has everything to do with religion. Even in faith there is logic. If there was no logic in faith, the faith would contradict itself to such a degree that it would be beyond belief of a reasoning mind. But then, you already seem to understand this, as you used Algebra as an analogy. :)
But I digress.... To answer your last question, I honestly have to say that my girlfriend's beliefs play a major role in my decision to even consider Catholicism. I wouldn't have given it a second thought, otherwise. But coming to know the Catholic faith through her, I have been able to look beyond anything I may see as a fault and find the good. And there is a lot of good to be found.
I have been going through some tough times recently, and I feel the two things that have helped me most are my girlfriend and reconnecting with God through the church. I find myself praying more frequently and on a more regular basis. As a result, I feel stronger and more capable of doing what is right. It is for these reasons that I am drawn specifically to the Catholic church.
Obviously it would be impossible to join all churches at once. But the closest thing to that, I guess, would be to become Unitarian Universalist, which is something I considered before I started attending church with my girlfriend. But honestly I know very little about it.
Sincerely,
Greg Short
Weight: ???
Last ate: TWO Servings of Malt-O-Meal
So I joined a Catholic Yahoo Group to find answers to some of my questions about the religion. Here is a fragment of someone's post plus my reply:
> Back to your question though, I do have a couple I would like to ask
> you. First, if you do not believe there is one true church around,
> would you ever consider joining all the churches at once? If not,
> what would be the determining factor for you in choosing any one
> church out of a pool of several, if truth does not play a role in the
> decision?
Thank you for your reply. Though I believe there is one Truth, there is no way any of us can know what that is. So while I think it is appropriate to take a particular belief system as one's Truth, I think it is disrespectful and illogical to assume everyone else is wrong.
Right about now, you're probably asking yourself what logic has to do with religion. I think it has everything to do with religion. Even in faith there is logic. If there was no logic in faith, the faith would contradict itself to such a degree that it would be beyond belief of a reasoning mind. But then, you already seem to understand this, as you used Algebra as an analogy. :)
But I digress.... To answer your last question, I honestly have to say that my girlfriend's beliefs play a major role in my decision to even consider Catholicism. I wouldn't have given it a second thought, otherwise. But coming to know the Catholic faith through her, I have been able to look beyond anything I may see as a fault and find the good. And there is a lot of good to be found.
I have been going through some tough times recently, and I feel the two things that have helped me most are my girlfriend and reconnecting with God through the church. I find myself praying more frequently and on a more regular basis. As a result, I feel stronger and more capable of doing what is right. It is for these reasons that I am drawn specifically to the Catholic church.
Obviously it would be impossible to join all churches at once. But the closest thing to that, I guess, would be to become Unitarian Universalist, which is something I considered before I started attending church with my girlfriend. But honestly I know very little about it.
Sincerely,
Greg Short
Wednesday, October 15, 2003
The Beauty of Crows
Mood: In Awe
Weight: 160
Last ate: Slim-Fast Rich Chocolate Brownie Meal Bar
I went out to the mail box and saw a crow flying overhead. Being fascinated by all birds and especially crows, I stood there and watched him. It was one of the most beautiful sights I've ever seen. This bird, this crow, was SOARING and LOVING IT. You could tell by the way he would catch an updraft and sort of hang there, then let himself fall into a glide. He even seemed to call out in glee. I was happy for him. He made me happy. I feel like we shared a moment of peace and understanding. Then, he was gone. The feelings, however, persist.
I think the only person that truly understands how I feel about birds is Bella. We enjoy birds together. We'll be sitting in the park, driving in her car, walking down the street--it doesn't matter what we're doing--and we notice these birds. We watch them, take delight in them. It doesn't matter if they're crows, starlings, sparrows, perhaps a hummingbird, we get enormous satisfaction in watching them.
It saddens me that most people miss the beauty of crows, the beauty of birds. They don't take the time to stop... and enjoy.
Weight: 160
Last ate: Slim-Fast Rich Chocolate Brownie Meal Bar
I went out to the mail box and saw a crow flying overhead. Being fascinated by all birds and especially crows, I stood there and watched him. It was one of the most beautiful sights I've ever seen. This bird, this crow, was SOARING and LOVING IT. You could tell by the way he would catch an updraft and sort of hang there, then let himself fall into a glide. He even seemed to call out in glee. I was happy for him. He made me happy. I feel like we shared a moment of peace and understanding. Then, he was gone. The feelings, however, persist.
I think the only person that truly understands how I feel about birds is Bella. We enjoy birds together. We'll be sitting in the park, driving in her car, walking down the street--it doesn't matter what we're doing--and we notice these birds. We watch them, take delight in them. It doesn't matter if they're crows, starlings, sparrows, perhaps a hummingbird, we get enormous satisfaction in watching them.
It saddens me that most people miss the beauty of crows, the beauty of birds. They don't take the time to stop... and enjoy.
Tuesday, October 14, 2003
Apologies
Mood: Happy
Weight: 161
Last ate: Slim-Fast Chocolate Shake
I have to apologize to you, dear readers. I have been bitching about my family a lot lately. NO MORE! At least for a while. ;) After all, Bella makes my life great, and I am happier than I have ever been in my life. I have been frustrated over things I cannot change, and I must STOP!
So anyway, it strikes me that I haven't talked about my kids much lately. Ibby the starling is doing very well. His primary feathers have grown back so he can fly again. His beak is back to a normal length and has returned to its non-mating-season black. Stella the cat has a red collar of which she is very proud. She's on the outs with her boyfriend right now. Maybe one day they will resolve their differences. The budgies Max and Frida have decided the real world is not for them, but instead prefer to stay in their cage all day. They seem quite content. Oh, two more members of the family are on the way. Kelly and Hrudey are leopard frog tadpoles currently traveling the US in a brown box. I paid Uncle Milton to take the poor kids off his hands. They appear to be in a little mischief, however, as they haven't arrived on schedule. But you know kids!
Well, time for work! Need to drum up some sales....
Weight: 161
Last ate: Slim-Fast Chocolate Shake
I have to apologize to you, dear readers. I have been bitching about my family a lot lately. NO MORE! At least for a while. ;) After all, Bella makes my life great, and I am happier than I have ever been in my life. I have been frustrated over things I cannot change, and I must STOP!
So anyway, it strikes me that I haven't talked about my kids much lately. Ibby the starling is doing very well. His primary feathers have grown back so he can fly again. His beak is back to a normal length and has returned to its non-mating-season black. Stella the cat has a red collar of which she is very proud. She's on the outs with her boyfriend right now. Maybe one day they will resolve their differences. The budgies Max and Frida have decided the real world is not for them, but instead prefer to stay in their cage all day. They seem quite content. Oh, two more members of the family are on the way. Kelly and Hrudey are leopard frog tadpoles currently traveling the US in a brown box. I paid Uncle Milton to take the poor kids off his hands. They appear to be in a little mischief, however, as they haven't arrived on schedule. But you know kids!
Well, time for work! Need to drum up some sales....
Cool Link
Mood: Content
Thanks to Ben of Bennifer fame (no, not Affleck and J.Lo, but the ORIGINAL Bennifer) for this cool link: HomeStarRunner.com. It's a hilarious, Flash-based cartoon series. Plus, free games and downloads! Be sure to check out the talking clock for your PC....
Thanks to Ben of Bennifer fame (no, not Affleck and J.Lo, but the ORIGINAL Bennifer) for this cool link: HomeStarRunner.com. It's a hilarious, Flash-based cartoon series. Plus, free games and downloads! Be sure to check out the talking clock for your PC....
Monday, October 13, 2003
Family Troubles... Again!
Mood: Disgusted
Weight: 161
Last ate: Slim-Fast Chocolate Shake
It is now clear to me that few, if any, members of my own family care about me. I have talked to everyone that is involved with this whole family fiasco, telling them what this is doing to me... and no one cares. My own mother basically told me that this is not my house and that I am essentially homeless. And that's precisely how I feel.
All the parties involved claim to want peace, but their actions speak louder than their words.
So I am going to remove myself from this situation--emotionally, if not physically. I am not going to let the fighting get to me. If these supposed adults want to fight like children rather than settle disputes like adults, then that is their problem. I wash my hands of it.
Admittedly, I was stepping in a little too much trying to keep things from escalating, but it's obvious no one is interested in my help. I can only protect myself.
What I can and will do for my family is pray that God will give them the strength to see the part they each play in this situation. And I will pray that I will have the strength to not let their petty bickering pull me into their turmoil.
Once again, I have to thank Bella for saving me from this. With her love holding me up, time and time again I have had the strength to do the right thing. Thank you, Bella! I love you more than anything in this world....
Weight: 161
Last ate: Slim-Fast Chocolate Shake
It is now clear to me that few, if any, members of my own family care about me. I have talked to everyone that is involved with this whole family fiasco, telling them what this is doing to me... and no one cares. My own mother basically told me that this is not my house and that I am essentially homeless. And that's precisely how I feel.
All the parties involved claim to want peace, but their actions speak louder than their words.
So I am going to remove myself from this situation--emotionally, if not physically. I am not going to let the fighting get to me. If these supposed adults want to fight like children rather than settle disputes like adults, then that is their problem. I wash my hands of it.
Admittedly, I was stepping in a little too much trying to keep things from escalating, but it's obvious no one is interested in my help. I can only protect myself.
What I can and will do for my family is pray that God will give them the strength to see the part they each play in this situation. And I will pray that I will have the strength to not let their petty bickering pull me into their turmoil.
Once again, I have to thank Bella for saving me from this. With her love holding me up, time and time again I have had the strength to do the right thing. Thank you, Bella! I love you more than anything in this world....
Sunday, October 12, 2003
Insecurities
Mood: Emotionally Exhausted
Weight: 160
Last ate: Slim-Fast Cookie Dough Meal Bar (yesterday)
So last night Bella and I went to see Faust is Dead at the Rude Guerrilla. It featured gratuitous male nudity for no apparent reason other than shock value. This raised my insecurities, and as I sat there it turned into jealousy that Bella was seeing such things. Feeling that way about Bella made me angry at myself. On the ride home, Bella detected something was wrong and was extremely apologetic that I didn't enjoy myself. Then I started thinking what an asshole I was being which only made me more upset with myself. I was seriously wondering why Bella would ever want to be with such a pathetic person. It wasn't until we got to my house that she pried out of me what was wrong. She instantly thought it was her fault. But really, as I told her, it has nothing whatsoever to do with her. I just have deep-rooted insecurities. After we talked about it, I felt a lot better, but still felt like a bit of an ass.
This morning, I got up at 6am to feed Stella, but Gran had moved her food. So while I was trying to stay in sleep mode so I could go back to sleep after I fed Stella, I was searching for the food. I ended up having to ask Gran where it was. Finally, after putting the food out, I tried to go back to sleep, only to realize I was now wide awake. Then I was pissed. And with one negative mood comes another, so the self-loathing returned.
I'm feeling relatively better now, but I feel extremely tired and emotionally drained.
Well, I better eat something, though I have no appetite. Need to feed the birds before I leave for Bella's house, too.
Weight: 160
Last ate: Slim-Fast Cookie Dough Meal Bar (yesterday)
So last night Bella and I went to see Faust is Dead at the Rude Guerrilla. It featured gratuitous male nudity for no apparent reason other than shock value. This raised my insecurities, and as I sat there it turned into jealousy that Bella was seeing such things. Feeling that way about Bella made me angry at myself. On the ride home, Bella detected something was wrong and was extremely apologetic that I didn't enjoy myself. Then I started thinking what an asshole I was being which only made me more upset with myself. I was seriously wondering why Bella would ever want to be with such a pathetic person. It wasn't until we got to my house that she pried out of me what was wrong. She instantly thought it was her fault. But really, as I told her, it has nothing whatsoever to do with her. I just have deep-rooted insecurities. After we talked about it, I felt a lot better, but still felt like a bit of an ass.
This morning, I got up at 6am to feed Stella, but Gran had moved her food. So while I was trying to stay in sleep mode so I could go back to sleep after I fed Stella, I was searching for the food. I ended up having to ask Gran where it was. Finally, after putting the food out, I tried to go back to sleep, only to realize I was now wide awake. Then I was pissed. And with one negative mood comes another, so the self-loathing returned.
I'm feeling relatively better now, but I feel extremely tired and emotionally drained.
Well, I better eat something, though I have no appetite. Need to feed the birds before I leave for Bella's house, too.
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