Back to Reality

Mood: content

So I have been tossing around the idea of keeping AlphaStar Media going. I know I said I was going to put it on hold indefinitely, but I just can't let go. I even considered advertising in The Business Press. I was this >< close when I decided to ask myself what Bella would tell me to do. I knew she would tell me not to invest such a large sum of money in my business right now. And you know what? She's right. I need to keep focused on the job search.

However, I have decided to keep my business going, if only on a small scale. So as a result, I designed a postcard which I will mail to businesses found in the Fictitious Business Name listings. That, with maybe the occasional phone call, will be the extent of my advertising. I feel content with this decision. Thanks Bella!

In other news, I totally got lost for my interview. A street which looked like a through street on the map... wasn't. I did my best to recover, but I made a couple wrong turns and ended up in the opposite direction I was supposed to go. I called my rep at Finesse and he said he would try to get them to reschedule the interview for next week. We'll see.

I did take advantage of being downtown to apply at The Press Enterprise. Unlike the missed interview, it is located right along the bus route. I am really hoping I can get a job there.

As part of my distraction from missing Bella so much, I rented Miracle, starring Kurt Russell. For those that don't know, it's about Herb Brooks, the coach that led a team of young college hockey players to defeat the Soviet Union's team in the 1980(?) Olympics... in the midst of the Cold War, no less! They then went on to beat Finland to win the Gold. I'm not afraid to admit that this movie was so uplifting that it brought me to tears. I think it's a must-see for everyone, not just hockey fans.

Hey, one last thing: Did you know how DELICIOUS Shrimp with Lime Flavor Instant Lunch is?!? Oh my God, it was good. Usually I dump the noodles out on a plate and bury them under a pile of parmesan cheese. But these seriously didn't need anything! If you don't mind eating five or six microscopic shrimp, you have to try it.

Not a Good Start

Mood: cranky

My mood isn't the best mood to be in for a job interview. I can only hope the THREE HOURS between the time I leave the house and the time the interview is scheduled will change it.

There's no doubt about it. If I get the job, I will be forced to rent a room closer to the job site. There's no way I'm going to waste six hours of every day getting to and from work.

Tomorrow's Long Journey

Mood: distraught

Tomorrow I have an interview with the Muscular Dystrophy Association. It's way the hell over on the other side of Riverside. I just figured out my options of getting there:

Buses #10 & 25
Total Travel Time: 3hrs 45mins
Total Wait Time: 2hrs 2mins
Cost: $1.25

Buses #10 & 13 & Walk (1/2 mile)
Total Travel Time: 3hrs 45mins
Total Wait Time: 2hrs 2mins
Cost: $1.25

Bus #10 & Walk (2.5 miles)
Total Travel Time: 3hrs
Total Wait Time: 1hr 33mins
Cost: $1.00

Bear in mind that these are for ONE WAY! Also, the Total Wait Times are included in the Total Travel Times.

I decided on the 10/Walk option. It allows me to wake up 45 minutes later, saves 45 minutes of travel time, saves almost a half hour of wait time, and it costs less. It does involve a considerable amount of walking, but the weather should be good at that time. The trip back is a different story, and I haven't even done the numbers on that. But I'm assuming I will do the same thing, in reverse. I expect the time to be roughly the same, as well.

Needless to say, I am taking plenty of reading material and a radio.

Well, I better get to bed. If nothing else, I should be well rested.

Inland Printworks' Newest Employee

Mood: missing Bella

I was checking my personal email, and I noticed there was one marked as spam. I read the excerpt of the contents of the email provided by Gmail and found that the email was from the person who was ultimately hired at Inland Printworks. He said he Googled "Inland Printworks" and found my site. He seems like a nice enough guy; he went so far as to offer to meet with me and give me pointers on Quark Xpress. Though it was nice of him to offer, I'm not sure I want to head back in the direction of print design any time soon. I've decided web design is where my skills--and, more importantly, joy--lie.

Anyway, this got me thinking about a conversation very near the end of my stint at Inland Printworks. Bill, the owner, wanted to see some of my web sites. I showed them to him, and of course he nitpicked them. "What's your tracking set to?" he asked. Well, Bill, there is no tracking in web design. I had to explain to him how web design differed from print design. I described why web design was in some regards much more difficult than print design. In print design, you are dealing with a static design, what you see is what you get. Web design, I informed him, is much more complicated than that, requiring the designer to take into account the multitude of different operating systems, screen resolutions and browsers. I was proud of myself. Bill, you may know print design, but I know web design. No one can tell me otherwise.

She's a Snapshot

Mood: numb

As Bella's brother and I dropped her off at the airport, I noticed a phenomenon that I can only refer to as a snapshot. I took this mental snapshot of Bella walking through the doors to the airport as I was getting back in the car. It's not something I consciously did. Had that been the case, I would have pictured her beautiful face, smiling. Instead, I took this snapshot as she passed through the doors, her back to me. White shirt. Red and white plaid skirt. Hair resting on her shoulders. Pulling her large, floral suitcase behind her.

She didn't look back. I couldn't look away. What if's raced through my head. I forced them back into the dark places worries hide when we're distracted by living. The car pulled away. She disappeared.

I cling to the snapshot. "Don't go," I say. I want to remember. "Don't go."

(She's) Leaving on a Jet Plane

Mood: sad

Bella's leaving on a jet plane tonight. She's going to New York to visit her brother for 10 days. This is something we've talked about. This is something we've agreed will not only be good for them, but for us, as well. But last night we were both asking why we've done this to ourselves. We can only hope that her dissolving into New York and my getting lost in the continuing job search will distract us.

But oh how I miss her already....