Bad Dream

Had a bad dream that has put me in a foul mood. In the dream, my mom was throwing my stuff away. I told her that there were important things that she was throwing away, and she didn't care.

Sadly, this is based on true events. My mom threw away at least three boxes of my books, and when she saw how devastated I was, she still showed no remorse. The funny thing was this all happened as a result of my HELPING HER by cleaning up the carport for her. Furthermore, we had agreed as a family to clean up on a particular day at a particular time. My sister was the only one that helped me. (Admittedly, one of my brothers had said that he had to work at that time, so he was the only one with a legitimate excuse.)

I have shed plenty of tears over my mom's lack of respect for me. But I have forgiven her, even though she turned up her nose at it when it was offered. The wounds are still there. I just find it sad how readily she is willing to ruin our relationship. This isn't the first time, and it won't be the last. This time, I won't open myself up to being in such a position again. It is clear that we are destined to have a relationship at arm's length.

Sometimes I feel I have no father AND no mother. That saddens me to no end....